Do You Hear Your Mama Calling?

your mama wants you back
betty davis

Last year we were fortunate to receive a very good friend's record collection. I draw much inspiration from this particular stack of vinyl...

Answering the Call of the Wild

"Wolves and women are relational by nature, inquiring, possessed of great endurance and strength. They are deeply intuitive, intensely concerned with their young, their mate, and their pack." ~Clarissa Pinkola Estés

If you don’t have a copy of the “Women Who Run With The Wolves," by Clarissa Pinkola Estés, then stop reading this and go find one! Wrought with pearls of wisdom, it is an essential text for the creative woman. Estés collects myths and stories of the Wild Woman archetype, breaks down the archeology of the fairytale, and uses it as a tool to reconstruct the intergenerational lines of communication between women that have been severed by patriarchal rule. By drawing on the similarities between woman and wolf, Estès' book evokes the wild woman that is deep within the female psyche.

In the chapter, Homing: Returning to Oneself, Estés speaks of the soul-home; that state of being where we feel the most ourselves; where we feel whole; where we feel satisfied. Through the mechanisms of motherhood, I have been fortunate to discover that my soul-home exists in nurturing the creative life. If I cannot visit my soul-home frequently, I find myself depleted, withered, and dry. When I devote myself to the practice of creation, I am at peace.

With the arrival of baby girl came a huge shift in priority; a period of constant giving. After the excitement of the new baby dwindled, and the steady rush of visitors slowed to a trickle, I found myself knee-deep in the mamahood. Between changing cloth diapers (yes, I said cloth) and washing dishes, something started to pull me to the wayside. I began to reminisce about carefree days that once were; an indiscernible need for something more. Then I realized one day that, in the throws of the mamahood, I had abandoned my soul-home. And that began my initiation process into making the journey back home.

Embarking on this journey is not without its obstacles. Although we’d like to think that women have transcended the barriers built by patriarchy, these barriers still exist. A common myth or misconception is that when we become mothers we should want for nothing more. I believe both men and women suffer from this thinking. And it is this kind of thinking that prevents us, as mothers, from hearing the calling back to our homes. What is beautiful, however, about this process is that the calling--the voice--never stops calling out. Your creativity may lay dormant, but it never disappears. It will keep calling to you until you decide that your are ready to answer.

daily rituals #001

Dirt Cups

I had this at a party with my cousin when I was about 10 and I never forgot it! I run a pretty whole, healthy, and sustainable household, but we make exceptions for birthdays. (I feel the stank eye on me again.) It’s super easy and the kiddies go nuts for them.

What you need:
• 1 package of Oreos (Newman O’s or whatever chocolate cookie sandwich suits your fancy)
• 1 package of Jello chocolate pudding (If your hardcore you can make it yourself.)
• 6-8 clear plastic cups (the smallest you can find)
• gummi worms
• fresh cut flowers
• ziploc bag

1. Scrape whites from the chocolate cookie sandwich. Discard. Or eat them if you're into that. You can leave them in if you want, but the cookies won’t look so much like dirt and the sugar content goes way up.
2. Place chocolate cookies inside Ziploc bag and crush with rolling pin. Set aside.
3. Using a large mixing bowl, follow Jello pudding instructions. Let pudding set.
4. Layer pudding and cookies inside cups until you reach your desired amount.
5. Add gummi worms and fresh cut flowers.

Serves 6-8.

Baby Girl Turns 3!

When the kids are this young, you have to admit the party is really for the parents. “Congratulations! You haven’t lost your mind!” For baby girl’s birthday, instead of hosting an extravaganza that I would ultimately be cleaning up after, we decided to have small gatherings with close friends ALL week.

We kicked off the celebration with a camping trip to Moro Bay. Unfortunately, in all the excitement baby girl gets injured in a restaurant along the way. Nothing too major, so we proceed to the ocean. Baby girl was not in the best mood…We will try again in July. (Moro Bay photos coming soon.)

Then, at school, there were birthday “dirt cups”--a concoction made to look like dirt and worms, except edible. The kids LOVED it…maybe too much. A little sugar never hurt anybody. (Don’t give me the stank eye. It was just pudding, not crack.) The look on her face when we sang happy birthday to her turned me into a puddle of mush.

And finally, we had some family over. There was pie and there was paint. Singing the birthday song again got her thinking her that her birthday was everyday.

Now we rest and try to get back on track….
(to see whole birthday set check me out at flickr.)

To Be A Mother...

You never really understand what it’s like to be a mother until you become one. To the young, fabulous, and childless, the concept might be hard to grasp. There's just no way to comprehend the magnitude to which your life is altered when you procreate unless you are knee deep in the mamahood.

When io came into my life I was 24 years old and waiting tables. Not exactly what I had pictured when I was 10 and telling my girlfriends that I would have 2 children before I was 26. Since the day she arrived, I have been running with my head to the ground for most of the time. My main concern: that I keep running. Now that she is 3 years old and bit more independent, I find myself looking up more often; seeing what’s on the horizon. Gazing into the future.

I look at io and she is complete. She is a human being: unique and beautiful. In seeing her best qualities; I see myself. In seeing her worst qualities; I see myself. And , perhaps, for as long as I am her mother, I will always be orbiting io.